At long last, my review of ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’

Star Trek Into Darkness
I really don’t have a good reason for why my review for Star Trek Into Darkness took three years to write and post. I could give you the usual reasons, all mostly valid (I have two kids, a family, a job, and still like to keep up with the TV shows I want to watch, I pushed it aside in favor of Star Wars reviews and a website redesign, blah, blah, etc.), but in reality it pretty much comes down to this: After I didn’t manage to get it out after the first three or four months, inertia set in and it only got progressively worse, because at any given point I knew that it didn’t matter if I got it out now or in a few more months. So inertia kept me idle. Then six more months would go by, and six more…

Probably the main reason it’s finally posted now is that I promised myself to meet a deadline and get it posted before I go see Star Trek Beyond tomorrow. And I barely met that deadline. Granted, this review ended up being way longer than I had intended or planned, but that’s just how these things sometimes go, I guess.

But I didn’t imagine this review would somehow become my Waterloo. I don’t know how it got to that point. It just did. There’s really no reason for it aside from the intertia I already mentioned. I actually wrote long passages of it (that still appear in the final version) three years ago. And other parts of it two years ago. And the rest this week. It just turned into this weird thing that built up into an absurd mystique, like I’m George R.R. Martin or something. Which, to be clear, I know that I am not. Over a silly movie review to a silly movie that came out three years ago and that no one cares about anymore. But I am a completist, and I’ve heard from many of you who are as well and who wanted my take on this movie.

I probably could’ve easily put out a half-assed version at any point over the last three years, and probably should have. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it after waiting so long. On more than one occassion, people have speculated that I didn’t write this review (and never would) because I obviously hated the movie so much. You will see when you read it that’s not the reason at all. Like I said, there are no special reasons. It happened because it happened. It do what it do.

I also gather that people will probably discount this review altogether because it’s not the complete and total trashing that tracks with the conventional Trek-fan wisdom. What can I say? I guess I’m a contrarian here. A contrarian who happens to like the work of J.J. Abrams. Well, tough crap. Log your complaints in the comments. Tell me how wrong I am. Whatever. You probably already did anyway, three years ago. All I know is that this stupid review is finally done.

Look, just go read it, okay? It took me 38 months to write it, after all. The least you can do is read the damn thing. You jerk.

Then you can look for the Star Trek Beyond review sometime during summer 2019. Har har.

Jammer’s Review: Star Trek Into Darkness

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