I’ve never used a hand dryer in my life
When using a public restroom, after I wash my hands, I need to dry them, right? One can’t go into the world with one’s hands dripping with water. That’s why we’ve got electric hand dryers that blow hot air.
Personally, I prefer paper towels because it seems faster to me (5-10 seconds) than using the hand dryer (20-30 seconds), but sometimes they don’t give you that option, because that would require additional janitorial staff to come in and empty the wastebaskets filled with discarded paper towels. So, we have the hand dryers. You know what I love about hand dryers? Those hieroglyphical instructions that explain how to use them. In case you didn’t know.
Step 1: Push the button.
Step 2: Hold your hands under the warm air.
Step 3: Shoot yourself in the head because you’re too stupid to live.
What I like to do is follow the instructions exactly. I always make sure to push the button with my left index finger with my thumb extended just like in the picture. Then I hold my hands (motionless) under the hot air, exactly in the way the picture says. When you do this, it’s important that you don’t move your hands. Just hold them there. It’s funnier. After all, you’re just following directions.
One of the dumbest (and very funny) web sites ever made is YoureTheManNowDog.com. It’s the ultimate pointless obscure joke that’s in the perfect tradition of IDWID. So, here’s my take on “Youre [sic] the Man Now Dog”: It’s called “Youre [sic] the Dryer Now Dog,” done in the exact style of a YTMND. Check it out.
Public restroom hand dryer instructions: It do what it do.