Get a life, you iPhone-crazy fools
I’ve heard enough about the iPhone. This must be the most overly hyped thing since Paris Hilton getting out of jail. (Good thing there’s something we can over-hype just about every single day.) Speaking of Paris Hilton, if you watched her interview on CNN last night, shame on you, because you have given in to the pandering of this nation’s mass media and their decision to prioritize the utterly irrelevant.
But I digress.
The level of hype and demand for Apple Inc.’s phone is reminiscent of the debut of the PlayStation 3 game console in November, when minor riots broke out at some electronics stores. However, eBay prices for resold PS3s quickly fell, and two months later the console was in ample supply.
Check this shit out (Fig. 1). People line up to be the first to purchase Apple’s latest fad and line Steve Jobs’ pockets. (AP photo)
Remember that craze? After all the lines outside the electronic stores and the camping out and all that silliness, someone in my hometown “sold” a PS3 on eBay for some outrageous amount like $42,000. I put “sold” in quotes because I highly doubt the sale actually went through (after all, what idiot would actually make good on that?). But the insanity was sickening. Who in the world would buy a game console for three or four or six times the retail price? Do you really need it that bad right now? Don’t tell me it’s for your kids, because if that’s the case you’re sending them the wrong message by spending a small fortune on a game console and spoiling them.
Now we’re seeing the fools lining up for the iPhone, so they can be the first to get their hands on this wonderfully new, wonderfully Apple-zeitgeist-marketed, wonderfully overhyped gadget. And this time these people — at least most of them — can’t even pretend it’s for their kids.
Personally, I think anyone who lines up for days on end to buy a spankin’-new cool product (or to be the first to see the new Star Wars movie) is someone with waaaaaaaay too much time on their hands. In most cases, they’re students, so I might cut you some slack for curbing your boredom. But if you have a job and you took the day off, you are wasting precious hours of your life just so you can be on the cutting edge of … what? The “cool” Apple mindset?
The thing retails at $499. Or $599 for the 8 GB version. (Isn’t this pricing scheme exactly how the PS3 debuted?)
The thing that gets me: This is a freaking PHONE. Sure it plays MP3s and gives you (allegedly) great Internet and all that terrific stuff. But I just can’t see spending $500 on a phone. I could buy a notebook computer for that. Granted, not a great one, and I can’t put a notebook computer in my pocket and answer phone calls — but I’m probably less likely to lose my $500 notebook computer than my phone.
We are obviously just a bunch of gadget-crazy idiots. Well, okay, not me.
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