Get a life, you iPhone-crazy fools

I’ve heard enough about the iPhone. This must be the most overly hyped thing since Paris Hilton getting out of jail. (Good thing there’s something we can over-hype just about every single day.) Speaking of Paris Hilton, if you watched her interview on CNN last night, shame on you, because you have given in to the pandering of this nation’s mass media and their decision to prioritize the utterly irrelevant.

But I digress.

The level of hype and demand for Apple Inc.’s phone is reminiscent of the debut of the PlayStation 3 game console in November, when minor riots broke out at some electronics stores. However, eBay prices for resold PS3s quickly fell, and two months later the console was in ample supply.

— Reuters

062807-iphone.jpg
Check this shit out (Fig. 1). People line up to be the first to purchase Apple’s latest fad and line Steve Jobs’ pockets. (AP photo)

Remember that craze? After all the lines outside the electronic stores and the camping out and all that silliness, someone in my hometown “sold” a PS3 on eBay for some outrageous amount like $42,000. I put “sold” in quotes because I highly doubt the sale actually went through (after all, what idiot would actually make good on that?). But the insanity was sickening. Who in the world would buy a game console for three or four or six times the retail price? Do you really need it that bad right now? Don’t tell me it’s for your kids, because if that’s the case you’re sending them the wrong message by spending a small fortune on a game console and spoiling them.

Now we’re seeing the fools lining up for the iPhone, so they can be the first to get their hands on this wonderfully new, wonderfully Apple-zeitgeist-marketed, wonderfully overhyped gadget. And this time these people — at least most of them — can’t even pretend it’s for their kids.

Personally, I think anyone who lines up for days on end to buy a spankin’-new cool product (or to be the first to see the new Star Wars movie) is someone with waaaaaaaay too much time on their hands. In most cases, they’re students, so I might cut you some slack for curbing your boredom. But if you have a job and you took the day off, you are wasting precious hours of your life just so you can be on the cutting edge of … what? The “cool” Apple mindset?

The thing retails at $499. Or $599 for the 8 GB version. (Isn’t this pricing scheme exactly how the PS3 debuted?)

The thing that gets me: This is a freaking PHONE. Sure it plays MP3s and gives you (allegedly) great Internet and all that terrific stuff. But I just can’t see spending $500 on a phone. I could buy a notebook computer for that. Granted, not a great one, and I can’t put a notebook computer in my pocket and answer phone calls — but I’m probably less likely to lose my $500 notebook computer than my phone.

We are obviously just a bunch of gadget-crazy idiots. Well, okay, not me.

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19 comments on this post

Greg
Thursday, June 28, 2007, 4:28 pm (UTC -6)

And by Saturday it will be out of date.

I totally agree with your rant on this stupid phone. It’s crazy what people will do to get something that in the long run seems to be just overhyped junk.

smeos
Thursday, June 28, 2007, 5:01 pm (UTC -6)

I don’t even have an iPod. I refuse to buy one of those or an iPhone on general principle.

It will be a cold day in hell before I give Steve Jobs a nickel.

Undesirable Element
Friday, June 29, 2007, 1:11 am (UTC -6)

At least the iPod makes sense. Portable music with good sound quality has been in demand for years. I have an iPod, and it’s great for working out and hooking up to my car radio. I can keep a huge portion of my song collection in one place. For me, that technology makes sense.

But with the iPhone, I just don’t see where the demand is. How many people really want to be surfing the internet on a phone? I can’t imagine it being anything other than tedious to operate.

It’s also interesting to note that the iPhone’s internet capabilities apparently have no serious functions. Every commercial I’ve seen for it involves being able to watch YouTube videos on the go.

dss
Friday, June 29, 2007, 6:45 pm (UTC -6)

I camped for PS3s, Wiis, accessories and yes even took time off work. The Wiis and accessories actually sold quite well on ebay. Less luck with the PS3s though. Eh, it was still a fun experience.

JASmius
Friday, June 29, 2007, 6:48 pm (UTC -6)

The cell phone is the twenty-first century Swiss Army knife. The iPhone is the same if, you know, Swiss Army knives had rocket launchers and personal cloaking devices and interdimensional rift openers and phaser cannons and….

James S
Saturday, June 30, 2007, 6:31 am (UTC -6)

You’ve got to laugh at people who slam the second biggest vanity product of the decade – the iPhone – via the undisputed king of vanity products of all time – the personal weblog. And a weblog spun off a site reviewing Star Trek! For some people this is the very definition of “get a life”. No offence Jammer, I love the site and your writings, but tell me you aren’t metaphorically waiting in line for the next season of Galactica 😉

Matt
Saturday, June 30, 2007, 9:14 pm (UTC -6)

Well I for one don’t see what has YOU so upset. The iPhone does a lot of really cool stuff. Just because it isn’t your thing doesn’t mean you need to rip into the people who ARE into it.

I should say that I’m never going to spend that kind of money on a phone (even if it has an amazing touchscreen that orients itself based on how you’re holding the phone, an ipod, a quality web browser, and any number of other really cool stuff inside), but I was willing to pay an extra 100$ to get my hands on a Wii–so obviously I can’t claim to be perfect.

I like what I like. What can I say? I’ve had a lot of fun with that system over the last few months and I reckon that for me the money was well spent. I’m sure that wouldn’t be true for everyone…but still…I just don’t get the point of being judgemental and acting like everyone should think the way you do.

Jamahl Epsicokhan
Monday, July 2, 2007, 10:14 am (UTC -6)

^ I’m mostly laughing at people standing in line DAYS IN ADVANCE before the iPhone comes out. This blog is meant to be snarky and judgmental and should be taken with a grain of salt. It’s not a direct attack on people or the iPhone. I would never buy an iPhone, but I don’t have a problem with those who do. I think you’re taking me too seriously here.

My friend Mike I’m sure loves the iPhone. He probably won’t spend $500 on one, but I think he’ll understand my ribbing on all things Apple as not really that serious. He’s one of those Mac guys, so that means I have to be even more of a PC guy, just to keep the war alive.

Jim
Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 7:39 am (UTC -6)

The iPhone hasn’t been released here yet, and I can’t believe the hype and discussion I’ve seen which has crossed the Pacific, as well as the stuff that can be found plastered across the internet.

There’s nothing new to the iPhone. It’s an improved Nokia N-Gage (circa 2003) for crying out loud. It played music, video, games and was a phone and had a memory of up to 2Gb

How can reinventing the wheel reap 1 company millions?

bmoredlj
Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 11:39 am (UTC -6)

Mac Guy

“You just killed that plane with a car.”

McClane

“I ran out of bullets.
Gimme your phone, I need to call my wife.”

(Mac Guy takes out iPhone.)

Mac Guy

“Oh jeez, sorry John, the screen’s cracked. It’s worthless.”

McClane

You stupid motherf(explosion)…

dss
Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 3:22 pm (UTC -6)

Heh, I remember being in a Verizon store getting a warranty replacement on my phone. Some guy ahead of me in line was describing his phone problem to the counter staff. Apparently he didn’t realize he had dropped his phone until he ran over it with his car. Screen was cracked and nonfunctional, hinge was broken (it was a flip phone) but he was still able to make and receive calls on it. Pretty neat. Can’t do that if your phone’s dependent on the screen for input.

JavaheadJake
Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 8:25 pm (UTC -6)

Knucklehead newscaster on one of the cable news channels pointed out that the iPhone could show videos, connect to the internet, play music, and make phone calls. I have an LG VX8600 cell phone and it does all of these things plus it has a camera that does videos and still photos!

But it doesn’t have a flat, can’t see in the sunlight, multipurpose, all in one, fancy, can only use ATT, cost too much, crackable screen!

Jamahl Epsicokhan
Wednesday, July 4, 2007, 10:46 am (UTC -6)

I still need to see Die Hard 4. Sounds hilarious.

Dude
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 2:27 am (UTC -6)

I’m so with you on this, these people have no lives and there are tons of better phones for less money. I could probably fly to Japan, buy a new G3 phone and get some guy to make it work on the US networks for cheaper. Ok not really, but these phones never last more than 2 years in the market, and this is so overprized, does nothing special – please tell me this will fail and by the end of the year there will be landfills in Mexico containing these…

Tilli
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 10:10 am (UTC -6)

What people should buy is the Greenphone, or the OpenMoko Neo 1973. Phones with Linux, the geeks should love it…

Bryan
Monday, July 30, 2007, 2:32 pm (UTC -6)

??? why are you so intensely aggrivated at this subject? its all about supply and demand. obviously it is amazing and i was against it at first but i just got one and it really is amazing. 650 is nothing if you itemize everything seprately? 2mp camera bestr ipod 8gb , phone, latest touch screen, its freaking amazing. it has alot more than that too im just dumbing everything down. you should really take a good look at it maybe try it out before you say anything. it seems like you havent experienced it first hand. its peoples own wishes to get the iphone. just like anything else. if its worth it to them thats all that matters. im sorry i am just a college boy that likes to decipher things

Bryan
Monday, July 30, 2007, 2:37 pm (UTC -6)

and it does more than just make phone calls. its a new concept that deserves credit. let me see you come out with a product that is intuitive and easy to use. i mean the features are intense. the only i suggest is getting the 8gb double memory for only 100 dollars more. the innternet is fast regardless of what people say even on the edge network. which means you can access it anywhere you want_ not just at a wifi spot.this phone is realistic. and im saying that because i am phone crazy and only ever bought overseas phones until now. the thousands of dollars i have spent on phones alone didnt come wit overseas warranties. but now something made in america? beyond belief its amazing. GET ONE!!! or at least try it out.. pinch zoom in and out. scroll through your visualtions in a fun way . and multitask as much as you can possibly think of. this is the first item i had ever bought from apple

Michigan Game Ps3
Friday, May 23, 2008, 5:03 am (UTC -6)

Michigan Game Ps3…

I’ve heard enough about the iPhone. This must be the most overly hyped thing since Paris Hilto[…]…

Tampa Gas Scooters
Monday, July 7, 2008, 7:32 pm (UTC -6)

And now it is time for the Iphone part 2. Oh joy.

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