Please: Christmas does not begin on Nov. 1
Okay, people. Enough is enough. Every year it starts earlier, and earlier, and earlier. Well, maybe not really — after all, I’m not seeing Christmas stuff in August yet, so there must be some sort of graduated push-back schedule. But I’m pretty sure that at some point earlier in my lifetime, Christmas season did not begin until around Thanksgiving. It has slowly gotten pushed earlier, and now Christmas begins as soon as Halloween ends.
(By the way, Halloween “season” does NOT begin in EARLY SEPTEMBER, so cut it out already.)
Check this shit out (Fig. 1). It’s Christmas season. Why? Because I said so! See: An evergreen tree with ornaments, and snow and ice and cold. But mostly I just want you to buy something. Look! Buy this tree! Hurry! Only 49 days until Christmas!
Is this really necessary? Do we need the Christmas decorations to go up the moment the Halloween decorations come down? Do we need radio stations that go into all-Christmas-music-all-the-time mode on the first day of November? Do we need Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti in a lame-looking Christmas comedy on Nov. 9? Do we need last year’s lame Christmas comedy, “Deck the Halls,” deliberately held off for months and months ’til the season came ’round again, to be released on DVD on Nov. 6?
No, we do not. We need those things in about four weeks at the earliest. NOT NOW. I for one don’t want to celebrate Christmas for two months.
Last week, on Nov. 2, I walked into a department store. Already, everything was Christmas. The trees and ornaments and poinsettia leaves were everywhere throughout the store. I’m not trying to be a Scrooge or anything, but gimme a break. It was Nov. 2. NOVEMBER FREAKING SECOND!
This past weekend I was channeling around, and I came across home shopping cable network QVC. On it, some woman was trying to sell jewelry. On the set behind her was a Christmas tree. All the screen graphics were red and green, and there was a graphic that said “Great Gifts” in the corner of the screen. The date: Nov. 3. NOVEMBER FREAKING THIRD!
What annoys me about this pushing up of the season, is that it’s all for the sake of sales. The only reason Christmas season is starting now is because retailers want you to buy buy buy for as long a period as they can sucker you into buying. Because Christmas in this country, as we all know, above all else, is about retail sales.
Four weeks ago, on an unseasonably hot October day, it was 90 degrees across much of the Midwest. It felt like July. And now it’s suddenly Christmas. Whatever happened to that season called “fall”? It’s supposed to be now, but now what I see are TV commercials with snow on the ground and retailers trying to cash in on Christmas as much and as early as possible.
I think that from Nov. 1 until Thanksgiving, we should have autumn. Not a season based on money-making holidays or Christmas commercial campaigns, but a season based on falling leaves, cooling temperatures, shorter days, and that’s it.
Yeah, right. I should keep on dreaming. Or come up with great gift ideas for Thanksgiving. If retailers could sell Thanksgiving the way they can sell Christmas, I would maybe get my autumn. But then Thanksgiving “season” would surely start sometime around Labor Day.