To grandmother’s house we go!
Amanda Seyfried is going to grandmother’s house. (Warner Bros. photo)
You can call this post what it is — a snarky, sight-unseen prejudgment of something that just looks stupid on its face.
I’m talking about the making of “Red Riding Hood” into a Hollywood “thriller” starring Amanda Seyfried in the title role, and I think involving a werewolf.
With any luck, the werewolf, if there is one (and I don’t know that there is; I did NOT consult the Google on the Internets for a plot description), will be played by Taylor Whatshisface, in a crossover appearance from the Twilight franchise.
(And speaking of Twilight, why did they have to go and split the last book into two movies which I’ll now have to sit through with my wife? Greedy Hollywood bastards!)
Hollywood is apparently so desperate for stories with name recognition that now they’re plundering generic children’s fairy tales to turn into PG-13 “horror” movies.
What I love (or hate, or something; whatever emotion is signaled by me laughing while shaking my head) is how the marketing campaign for this movie comes with lots of spooky atmosphere, Big Title Words like “SURVIVAL,” and a stern, sinister-sounding announcer who says in a would-be Scary Trailer Voice: “RED RIDING HOOD. RATED PG-13.”
Am I supposed to be taking this seriously?
Gary Oldman is in it. I’m absolutely dying to see the interview where he talks about how he was attracted to this project because of the script.
Coming this fall (must be read aloud in a Sinister Announcer Voice): GOLDILOCKS. RATED R. (*)
* For strong bloody violence and a scene of sexuality.
At least they’re not making board games like “Battleship” into movies. Oh, wait…